5 Lessons

Always look people in the eyes.

There’s a lot your brain can register through eye contact. Avoiding eye contact won’t make you safe. It only blinds part of your senses and makes you a target.

Af daboolan waa dehab. A closed mouth is gold.

Your words depreciates in value once it leaves your mouth. If you’re nervous about what and how to communicate with someone, you either aren’t psychologically safe with this person, you are at war with yourself, or a blend of both. Remember your words are gold, and not everyone deserves it.

Pinch yourself in public and take a deep breath alone

The truth is you can’t out think a stressed state, but taking a deep breath in the middle of an argument can disrupt the flow or aggravate someone who is prone to hostility. Instead, I pinch my thigh under a table or cross my arms and pinch my forearm. This forces my brain to divert energy to where I pinched, which helps slow my brain from racing and helps me find a path to deescalate, reroute, or exit an intense situation. I hope this can help you.

Never play a zero sum game in your relationships

A zero sum game is a situation where one person can only win if another person loses. The reality is, there are no winners in relationships like this, and seeking closure through “losing” is giving the other person a kind of power of you. Your energy is best spent elsewhere like channeling your rage to better yourself & achieve your goals.

Low self esteem leads to low standards

Permitting poor behavior from others is a subconscious way of saying “I deserve to be treated this way.” You might think this is harmless at first, but once you let it pile up, you will damage the view you have of yourself and the person you see in the mirror will start to look different. You shouldn’t have to shout from the mountain tops to have someone treat you with basic respect.